A lot of readers have asked us just how old "THE LAUGH TIME" owner is. So we have taken our valuable time to address this issue as the "old timer" is out of the office. Fortunately for us, he never

bothers to read anything we write anyway. We would have included a real picture but it might frighten

younger readers! Not only that, this cartoon of him is close enough. We know that he is somewhere

in the neighborhood of between 60 to 180 years old, around the same age as John McCain. On a good day, when he trys to do a comb-over he appears to be roughly in his early 90's. This old timer, or (old coot), as we like to call him, drinks around a gallon or so of prune juice on a daily basis. This old timer has either lost or probably never had a brain. This week our staff was in a discussion on the topic of call girls and the old timer just got off the can, a ritual that takes up most of his day. Anyway, He either didn't understand what we were talking about or had his mind somewhere else. That evening the old timer went home and asked his wife if he could have a call girl as all the other fellow's wives let them have one. His wife raised her eyebrows, and with a sigh, said "Do you even know what a call girl is?" THE LAUGH TIME old timer replied, "Why yes indeedy I do, that's a girl that likes to talk on the phone and we are in need of a receptionist at the office, so I thought you wouldn't mind giving me the money to pay for one. I hear that they get a salary of about $5,000 an hour and I'm a little short on cash." His wife called us the next morning and asked what was up with that. We calmly explained our disussion did not involve any call girls for the office. She said, "Well, that figures, that old timer lost his mind somewhere in the 60's. He's a laugh a minute, that's the reason I send him to you guys at the office." We assume that she meant he lost his mind in the 1960's, but we think it was in the 1860's.

     The old timer got an e-mail last week and was all excited (he usually dosen't get any). He wanted all the staff to read it. This old timer thinks he's hip to all the new phrases, (what he actually needs is a hip replacement). Now here's a guy who thinks LOL means (LONGITUDE OR LATITUDE), we told him that's an acronym for laugh out loud. At any rate we proceeded to read his e-mail. It began with, WAYSW that means (why are you so weird); the old timer thought it meant (we are young sorority women), YASAN that means (you are such a nerd); he thought that meant (you are smart and nice), YS that means (you suck); the old timer thought it meant (yes sir), YAAI that means (you are an idiot); he thought it meant (you are an idol), YKN that means (you know nothing); he thought that meant (you're kind and nice), WIYP that means (what is your problem); he thought it meant (writing in your pages), WITWWYT means (what in the world were you thinking); he thought that meant (with intelligent thinking, wit, with your thoughts), YR the old timer actually got this one right, it means (you're), WRTG that means (writing), he thought that meant (we really think you're great), is WRTHLS that means (worthless); he thought that meant (we really thought hard, love stories), WYAS that means (wow, you are stupid); he thought it meant (write yet another story), YSATI means (you suck at the internet); the old timer thought it meant (you're such a thoughtful idol), YYSW means (yeah, yeah, sure, whatever); he thought that meant (you're youthful sweet writing), WAD means (without a doubt); he thought that meant (write all day), WOMBAT means (waste of money, brains and time); the old timer thought that meant (we order more breathtaking attention stories), ZOOT means (wohoo); he thought that was the name of the sorority, YGP means (you got punked); he thought that meant (you're great, perfect).

     Not wanting to see him have a stroke, (since one of his granddaughter's sent it), we let him believe that it was a really nice letter and that more people should e-mail him using just acronyms. It was hard for us not to break out laughing as we read his e-mail, but we somehow managed to control ourselves.

     One time we asked him if he has ever stereo-typed anything. His response was, "I like all kinds of stereos as long as they sound good." The only thing that bothers us about the old timer, is when he comes over to our houses and asks our spouses if we can come out and play. The problem comes in when he wants prune juice. Then he stays in the bathroom for hours and won't leave, He says, "I ain't going till the prune juice starts going." We've seriously thought about putting the old timer in a home.........but that all 'DEPENDS'(R) (TM).