"I'M ABSOLUTELY TORN OVER THIS LATEST INCIDENT,"SOBBED A BURNED UP BUSTER, "I'M IN PIECES AND FALLING APART. THE DOCTORS TOLD ME I'LL NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN. I'VE DEVOTED MY LIFE TO THE SHOW, NOW LOOK AT ME."
"I CAN CERTAINLY SYMPATHIZE WITH YOU BUSTER," SAID REPORTER SUEME S. MORE, "YOU LOOK TERRIBLE AND I CAN SEE THAT YOU ARE BROKEN UP BY ALL THIS. TELL ME HOW THIS ACCIDENT CAME ABOUT."
"THIS WAS NO ACCIDENT I'LL TELL YOU THAT," BLURTED BUSTER, "ADAM SAVAGE IS BEHIND THIS. HE DELIBERATELY PLACED ME IN HARM'S WAY AGAIN BECAUSE HE IS JEALOUS THAT I AM THE STAR OF THE SHOW AND I RECEIVE TONS OF MAIL FROM MY FANS. HE HAD IT IN FOR ME FROM THE START. HE WAS FULLY AWARE THAT I HOLD A DEGREE IN PHYSICS AND MECHANICAL ENGINEERING AND HE DOESN'T. SINCE THE BEGINNING, HE WOULD TAUNT, HAZE, HARRASS, EMBARRASS ME IN FRONT OF THE OTHERS AND CALL ME A DUMMY AND EVEN OFF THE SET IT WASN'T ANY DIFFERENT. I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO HUMILIATED IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. WHEN I SIGNED MY CONTRACT, THERE WASN'T A SPECIFIC ROLE THAT I WAS SUPPOSED TO PLAY. I WAS JUST HAPPY TO HAVE A STABLE JOB AND BEING IN THE LIMELIGHT WAS MY PERSONAL GOAL. THIS WASN'T MY FIRST TIME ON THE BIG SCREEN HOWEVER. FOR YEARS I WORKED FOR MAJOR AUTOMOBILE MANUFACTURES AS THEIR TECHNICAL ADVISOR TESTING NEW PRODUCTS. THE WORK WASN'T STEADY THOUGH AND I WAS BORED, SO I APPLIED AT MAJOR MOTION PICTURE COMPANIES FOR A STARRING ROLE. I WAS ECSTATIC WHEN MY AGENT CALLED ME ABOUT THIS JOB. MY INTERVIEW WENT EXTREMELY WELL AND I WAS HIRED ON THE SPOT. I WAS THRILLED TO BE BACK IN SHOW BIZ. JAMIE HYNEMAN IS A REALLY GREAT GUY AND MENTOR. HE WAS LIKE A BROTHER AND TREATED ME WITH RESPECT AND A FELLOW COLLEAGUE. JAMIE AND I SHARED THE SAME INTERESTS IN QUANTUM PHYSICS WHICH WE DISCUSSED AT LENGTH OVER LUNCH. HE WAS ALWAYS THERE TO PICK UP THE PIECES WHEN I WAS BESIDE MYSELF. THAT WASN'T THE CASE WITH MR. KNOW-IT-ALL, ADAM SAVAGE. FOR NO REASON WHATSOEVER, HE WOULD PUNCH, SLAP AND KICK ME JUST FOR THE FUN OF IT. WHAT A JERK! HE PUT ME THROUGH THINGS THAT CAUSED ME TO HAVE NIGHTMARES AND I BEGAN TO DEVELOP SEVERE MIGRAINE HEADACHES. HE CAME ACROSS ON TELEVISION AS BEING A REAL PAL, BUT I'LL TELL YOU THAT GUY IS NUTS, I THINK HE MAY BE SUFFERING FROM A BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER. HE'S SHOT ME, DROPPED ME FROM THE TOP OF TALL BUILDINGS, PUSHED ME OUT OF AIRPLANES AND A WHOLE LOT OF OTHER DIRTY TRICKS TO NAME A FEW. BEING BLOWN OFF OF A TOILET WAS THE LAST STRAW, THAT'S THE REASON I'M IN THE HOSPITAL NOW. EVERYTIME I WAS HURT, HE JUST LAUGHED HYSTERICALLY. YEAH, REAL FUNNY ADAM, WHAT YOU DESERVE IS A SWIFT KICK TO YOUR REAR END WITH MY PEG-LEG. THE GUY DIDN'T EVEN BOTHER TO APOLOGIZE EITHER. I HAVE A FAMILY TO SUPPORT AND HE DOESN'T CARE. NOW THAT I CAN'T WORK, I'M SUING ADAM.....SEE IF YOU FIND ANY HUMOR IN THAT. HE'LL PROBABLY JUST LAUGH AND THINK THAT'S FUNNY TOO, HUH BUDDY!!!"
NOTE FROM THE LAUGH TIME STAFF: THE MYTHBUSTERS ARE ABSOLUTELY
GREAT, IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THEM ON TELEVISION, HERE IS A QUICK LINK TO
THEIR WEB SITE. IT IS A MUST SEE PROGRAM!!!!!!