ANSWER: What a laugh; No. We don't allow our computers to date for several reasons. The idea
of explaining the facts of life to them is something that we prefer not to do at the present time. You may be
wondering, when is a good time to let them know. Well, it depends on when we feel that they may be mature
enough to handle such a delicate matter. As far as we are concerned, we just aren't ready to let them know quite
yet. They aren't very co-operative with us and lack a lot of discipline. We have caught more than one of our
computers acting inappropriately.
'FREDDY', our main computer (what a joke he is), has been sneaking around the internet when
we weren't being atttentive.We had to ground him for a week.
'GERTRUDE',our head female computer, is pretty much over the hill. She is extremely old, (about as
old as the hills and no sense of humor), so to speak. She is terribly wrinkled and looks like the dickens.
She really isn't interested in dating anyway. She developed some sort of a 'HABIT'. It has something to do
with her belonging to a 'COMPUTER NUNNERY'. Anyway, she's like the grandma type. She's been around
for a long time. Poor thing doesn't have much memory left. One minute she appears to be right on top of
everything and running smoothly, the next minute she falls asleep on us. So we aren't concerned with her
dating. We just keep her around for a laugh.
The problem is with the tween-age computers. Especially, 'PRUDENCE', she has a tendency to explore
new things on the internet. We checked to see where she had been in the last week in her history panel and
wow were we ever shocked! It appears that she has been checking out the chassis on some computers and
their processor sizes. Naturally, she denied that. We told her it is not safe to surf the internet alone as another
computer may pretend to be something that it's not and end up breaking her central processor unit or even worse,
her harddrive. So we told her to knock it off before she got in over her tower. She had the nerve to tell us that we
were just 'OLD FUDDY DUDDIES'.
She said that all of her friends get to go on the internet without supervision whenever they want and we just
don't understand! It's really difficult to explain to a tween-age computer the consequences of on-line dating. We
told her just because a computer claims to have a large processor, it doesn't mean it's true, and even if it were,
that doesn't mean it has anything else going for it.
'JIMMY', our teenage computer does pretty much what he wants. He's a real funny kid. He doesn't respect anyone
or care about anythIng. He knows how to delete his own history files and pretend that everything is cool. He's not as
smart as he thinks he is though. We opened his harddrive and found that he has been communicating with a much older
female computer.
We attempted to bring him up to speed on dating issues. We flat out told him that the chances of finding a
decent female computer on the internet was remote. We explained that an older female computer was more than
likely carrying around alot of excess baggage. We told him that it's real easy to pick up a nasty virus just by going
online with her. Of course he wouldn't listen, so we threatened to re-boot his harddrive if he didn't stop. Just to show
us, mr. smartguy, created his own password so that we couldn't see what he had been up to. We told him that if he
refused to give us the password, we were going to remove his power supply. He just laughed and dared us to try.
Stupid kid, we happily obliged and removed his power supply for a week.We thought he finally understood,
because he didn't think that was at all funny. When we re-installed the power supply unit, things were okay for awhile,
but sure enough, we caught him a few days later right back doing the same old thing.
We removed his harddrive and installed a new one. 'JIMMY' appeared to be doing fine until last week, when we
noticed that he was waking up at all hours of the night sweating profusely. We decided to swap out his memory with
'GERTRUDE. That way, 'JIMMY' might be a bit slow, but he won't remember anything about that hussy he met on the
internet and 'GERTRUDE', might just pick up the pace around here instead of sleeping all the time. Of course........................
'OLD HABITS ARE HARD TO BREAK!